Do's and Don'ts of Divorce

Do's

• Do not lose the forest for the trees. All your actions must have one purpose; the best interest of your children.
• Keep in contact with your children.
• Keep health, car and life insurances in the same status as before the action for dissolution was filed.
• Whether you or the other party started the divorce, make sure that you disclose all your assets (separate and community)
• Keep your emotions under control. The worst thing that can happen to you is if the other party accuses you of domestic violence.
• If emotions are running high especially if you discovered that your spouse was cheating on you, consider moving out of the family residence.
• Keep communication channels opened with the other party especially with regards to your children.
• If you're not the breadwinner, explore your potential and apply for jobs or consider going back to school. California favors self-supporting individuals.
• Keep documents regarding your job searches, school applications.
• Keep a calendar to document the other party's violations and inappropriate conduct.
• Use emails or certified mail as your preferred method of communication with the other party.
• Get legal advice as soon as possible

Don'ts

• Do not change the locks or deadbolt the family residence to keep the other party out. If you think that such an action is important for your safety you can always obtain a Court order to do that.
• Do not cancel insurance or change the beneficiary of an insurance policy.
• Do not use the children as weapon to punish the other spouse
• Do not buy or spend substantial amount of money or gift away properties. You can only spend money to cover the necessities of life, normal course of business or to pay your attorney's fees.
• Do not violate any Court order. This would subject you to contempt proceeding and would not look good for the presiding judge. If you do not like an order, go back to the Court and try to modify it.
• Do not threaten the other spouse that you will quit your job so that he/she will, get nothing. Definitely do not quit your job or switch to a lesser paying jobs.
• Do not marry someone else unless you have the divorce decree in your hand.
• Try not to be away for extended periods of time. Always keep your attorney informed of your whereabouts